I recently had to write a short biography about myself. I included the quote: “I am in love with the idea of love.” Later, I thought, actually, how many people are not in love with the idea of love?

Who doesn’t need some form of love in their life? That’s what we crave, what we live for, how relationships are formed and built. It’s that connection to another that bonds us, whether it is romantic, familiar, friendship or even doing something we love. They can fill us with a tremendous sense of purpose and contentment. Anyone or anything we choose to enjoy spending a substantial amount of time with or doing, must be treasured in our hearts. It has the ability to bring meaning to our lives and the most important facet of that meaning is love.

It makes sense then, that we will also enjoy reading about love, when it consumes so much of our lives. This is reflected in the numbers of people who read Romance novels:

 What is it about Romance that makes it such a popular genre? These are my thoughts on romantic love:

Romantic love is the epitome of all other types of love

It is set on a pedal stool of perfection, and in reality anyone can aspire to it; we actually have the autonomy and freedom to find it, if we are lucky. Our search for that one true love is somehow enshrouded in the belief that when we find it our world will be forever changed, we will be whole, complete. That when we fall into each other’s arms, stare into each other’s eyes, find pleasure in each other’s bodies and ultimately declare our love, there will be no greater sense of being, belonging, ecstasy, combined with feelings of intimacy, vulnerability and trust. The chemistry in romantic love makes it intoxicating and addictive and therefore reading about it does too.  

Romantic love conquers all

Even though the characters may face adversities as we all do in life; true love can conquer all. It will bind you together, if you are separated. It will make you realise the errors of your ways when you are wrong. It is the belief that no matter what life can throw at you, your one true love will be there by your side, supporting you through times of mental illness, depression or grief. These are all qualities that we search for; someone who can love us more than ourselves, someone who loves us even when we cannot love ourselves. Often reality falls short, but Romance novels make us believe in more.

“Regardless of the characters or plots or color palettes one truth reigns, romance is about the hope of finding love and that’s intoxicating. Readers want to believe that despite the adversity the writer throws at the characters, love will conquer all.” Nana Malone, romance novelist

Psychology Today: The Allure of Romance

Romantic love does not endure

The feelings experienced when we fall in love naturally fade over time; the excitement, the heart racing, the desire, the passion. Instead there grows a contentment, an understanding and a deeper appreciation of the person we fell in love with, as we grow older. But we can relive those moments in time again and again in romance novels, our hearts soaring or breaking for the main characters as their love story unfolds.   Romantic love seems far more exciting and thrilling, compared to the years after where love turns to complacency, routine and boredom, marriage, kids, old age, it’s hard to see the same qualities in someone you have been with over twenty years as clearly as the days when you first fell in love. Romantic love does not endure, therefore reading Romance novels allow us to relive them.

Romantic love lets us dream

Thinking of the ideals that we look for in our perfect someone, so many different possibilities and realities, always changing; become a day dream in our minds. Reading romance novels bring words to the page that live in our hearts and usually leave us with a feel good feeling by the end. The happy ending gives each reader hope that they too could have that romantic love that they can only dream of. The perfect love story is wrapped up in a happy ending that we all crave for in our own lives. Romantic love lets us dream; Romance novels are an escape into those dreams.

Romantic love engages our hearts

Even when characters are let down by the object of their romantic love, their heart break and desolation, draws us closer to the character who has been betrayed. We let their thoughts and feelings permeate our own hearts, so we truly understand the pain and hurt the character is going through. Or it’s the tragedy that unfolds that pulls at our hearts, so heartbreakingly sad, that tears roll down our face. Perhaps we have experienced similar things in our own lives and we are able to grieve for them through the context of the story, telling us that we are not alone. That we all experience heartache, pain, being let down or tragic circumstances. The ability to become wrapped up in a pain and suffering, sharing an empathy and understanding of another’s pain endears Romance novels to the readers heart.

Romantic love and Romance novels are all this and more:

“Above all, most people love being in love, love the feeling of loving, love even the mad passion of being in love.”                              Arif Anis

Thrive Global: The Psychology of Romantic Love

So why wouldn’t you love to read a Romance novel – it is based on that one thing we all love? LOVE!